Plus, now that you’re being more honest with yourself (and everyone with internet access), you are free to ask the questions, disagree, agree, and analyze everything you need to in an honest and meaningful way. The whole thing sounds like a win to me. Besides, as one of your friends who definitely believes in the God of Abraham, I have every confidence that if it’s truth you want, it’s truth you will get.

Oh, and about Crista…I sensed your concern about how her relationships and influence might change as a result of your “big reveal” Just so you know, I support Crista as a friend the same way I do all of my other friends. My end game, so to speak, is to encourage truth living and seeking. It sounds to me like you are a better Brendon since you started saying aloud what you really think. My guess is that honesty thing is making you a better boyfriend too.

ps i hope you and crista are together along time too!

Not sure about that. It’s just not at the forefront of my mind right now. My efforts are spent discovering what is true about church, and if so, what environment would match that.”

This is the one I actually meant to include in there. I suck at comments

“1) Are you still a Christian?

Not an easy answer. The answer is something like a “yes, but”. I still often think of myself with this label, but my experience of late has been uncomfortable. What is uncomfortable to me is that my understanding of Christianity seems to be changing. My experience for the past 10 years has been fairly narrow in exposure, that is, it’s mostly southern-baptist evangelical non-denom blend. That might sound vague, but, if you’ve spent much time at churches in SoCal, you probably have seen it. Now if I end up at a church, it will probably be at something more traditional like an Anglican church. The point is, suddenly feeling like I strongly disagree with aspects of a church I’ve attended for 10 years is to say the least, very unsettling. I’m rattled.”

Don’t search for truth of a church search for truth of GOD. Churches are run by sinners, they are bound to have rough spots.

My journey as been far less unsettling than yours, however having grown up Lutheran, attended Baptist church camp, gone to a charismatic (Assembly of God) university, and ministered in Quaker, Baptist, Lutheran and Non-Denom churches, I’ve learned, and had to convince my ultra traditional Lutheran grandma, that God does not rest on church doctrine, but on His Word, and his Spirit. Churches will let you down. I haven’t yet been to one that didn’t. We’ll see with the one I attend now.

Good luck to you, and good job with the progress you’ve made.

we don’t always agree either. but i’m glad we can debate stuff and be honest.

good post. it’s about time.