Spanish bank Bankinter has launched an sms based service to inform people each time their bank card is used. Can the CC issuers in the US please consider this?

Just a quick note, if you’re trying to get a hold of me and I’m less responsive, it’s because I’m sick. I thought I was past the worst of a cold I from last weekend. Unfortunately I developed a wicked eye infection yesterday, and it’s complicated my sinus problems. Yay.

Last night I was intrigued by a tv ad for the prescription drug Ambien. Doesn’t ring a bell? Perhaps you know it as Zolpidem Tartrate. Wait, that’s why they named it Ambien. The important thing was, it was the kind of ad where they don’t talk about what the drug is used to treat. Rather, it is left as an exercise to the viewer to “ask your doctor if it is right for you”. By the way, I can’t wait for an ad for either 1) a female hormonal supplement or 2) a herpes medication, to emply such tactics. Greater embarassment would occur in doctor’s offices across the nation.

I’ve decided to check out ambien.com and see if the product is right for me. I mean, I can’t get to a doctor right now, but at least I can get to their website. Turns out it’s a prescription sleep-aid. Fantastic, tv advertisements give me insomnia anyways.

Their Sleep Assessment Quiz is most amusing. It’s written with the broad strokes that we’ve come to know and love from say, a telephone psychic. But don’t worry, these guys are professionals. I’ll run through a summary of their questions (don’t want to quote verbatim, might get a beatdown).

• Do you fall asleep in more than 30 minutes?

Yes. Especially at work.

• Ever wake up and have difficulty falling asleep?

Yes. Last I checked, so do newborns.

• Do people tell you you seem out of it?

Uhh, I’m not out of it, you’re just BORING.

• Trouble concentrating at work?

Oh geeze. I mean, I don’t work in a candy factory, do I?

• Go to bed really late?

I have broadband.

• Is 8 hours of sleep not enough?

I wish I could tell you. So does my neighbor. And their neighbor.

• Snore?

No clue. Can you send me a tape recorder?

• Ever get tired when driving?

Never ever. Driving is 100% driving excitement. I’ve never been stuck in traffic after a hard day at work and felt like I wanted a nap.

• Sleepy during the day?

That’s because you’re boring me again.

Now here’s the really cool part. An affirmative answer to any of the 9 questions yields the advice that “You may have a sleep-related problem”. I was a bit dismayed to discover checking no boxes does indeed return a different result.

So what I jokingly started as a curious expidition ended deadly serious. Really. I probably have insomnia. An html form, 9 checkboxes, and a submit button told me so. Lucky for me, something this easy to figure out can be fixed with a pill.

Newsflash: If you’re routinely tired in your car, I got 10-to-1 odds that you hate your job, and work more than 40 hours a week. Can a pill fix that too?

My cousin Shannon lives in Brooklyn. Wisely fearing the potential for problems that could occur with a paperless evoting box, this past November 2 she demanded access to a paper ballot. In the end, it took a court issued order and eight hours of time for her request to be met.

The story and video is available at NY1 News.

I guess the recent election was more important than we all could have fathomed. Because I don’t know what else possibly could have happened to allow Ashcroft to write this in his resignation letter (emphasis mine):

The demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting. I take great personal satisfaction in the record which has been developed. The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

Did I miss something? Or, could he have possibly known the meaning was so duplicitous? I guess it is accurate in the sense that there have been no further attacks on the homeland, but please. This is grandiose.

…you suck.

That’s right.

This rant has been in me forever. Others have already shared the sentiment. But you know what the most offensive “PSA” style campaign in recent memory is? Try the “don’t pirate” ads we get to enjoy before sucking down your $10 a head flicks. Is this only me? I doubt it. I just paid to watch your movie, and you are exploiting my captivity to remind me to keep behaving like a good boy. So here is some advice. The last thing you should be doing is reminding your paying customers that they may be engaging in criminal activity elsewhere. Well guess what, we paid for our tickets, so cut us some slack, mmm k?

Wouldn’t it be fun for other media industries to follow suit? We can then watch the hilarity ensue. Have the newspapers get a crack at it first. Here is my suggested warning: “Attention subscribers, sharing this paper with your neighbor hurts paperboys”. The warning should replace page one. Also, it would be good for the newspaper to somehow be sealed shut to force the consumer to consume the message longer.

If you want to bombard the public with your heavy handed tactics (”oh look, the best grip is crying because he can’t buy a thanksgiving turkey! I really should have paid for The Fast and The Furious 16“) then fork up the cash and pay from some more ads. But how about you leave them out of the places you know people have paid.

Then again, I could be wrong. Perhaps college students across America are walking away from your lessons filled with doubt and conviction. Uh-oh, wakey-wakey time.

So here’s a novel (not actually) thought. Perhaps you should focus on developing incentives for people to buy your products. Let’s see, get it for free or pay for it. Why should we pay again? Oh that’s it, because it’s the right thing to do and it supports the industry. You know what, that’s fine with me. But guess what, most people don’t care. See your bed, Hollywood? That’s right, you’ve helped create an amoral vacuum of relativism in American society, and now you want people to do the right thing.

So here’s a suggestion. Go out and do some research on the rate of “piracy” of the Criterion Collection discs versus say, the best of Bruckheimer/Bay. I bet you’ll see a difference. Now why do you think that could be? Could it be you shape your audience? Could it be, people are less willing to buy cat food for dinner than say, a nice fresh albacore steak?

I’m out of sarcasm…